Do you meet the criteria to gain the noble title of Trailer Trash? Please take the aptitude test below to see if you have reached the pantheon of trashiness, a level few reach while others seem to attain so easily! 1. Did your Junior/Senior Prom have daycare? 2. Do you have to go outside to get something from the fridge? 3. Have you been married three times and still have the same in-laws? 4. Have you ever lit a match in your bathroom and had your house explode right off its wheels? 5. Does the Halloween pumpkin on your front porch have more teeth than your significant other? 6. Do you think that the last four words to the Star Spangled Banner are, “gentlemen, start your engines.” 7. Do you think that loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk? 8. Does your toilet paper have words and numbers on it? 9. Do you think that Iraq is a word describing the large breasts of the woman? 10. Do you think that a woman who is “out of your league” bowls at the Bowlarama on a different night? 11. Do you think that Genitalia is a foreign Italian airline? 12. Has your wife’s hairdo ever been ruined by a ceiling fan? 13. Do you go to your family reunion looking for a date? 14. Was one of your kids born on a pool table? 15. Do you need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoo’s? 16. Have you ever been unable to marry your sweetheart because there’s a law against it? 17. Was your school fight song Dueling Banjos? 18. Do you have more than one brother named Clem? 19. Do you think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader? 20. Do you have flowers proudly planted in a bathroom fixture in your front yard? TEST SCORING: 1-3 If you answered “yes” to one to three questions you most likely have no hope of being recognized as Trailer Trash in this lifetime! 4-10 By answering “yes” to anywhere from four to ten answers correctly you have a 65% chance of becoming recognized in your community as Trailer Trash. You are one pink flamingo on your lawn or one used car in the driveway of your double-wide from gaining the title! 11-15 You are without a doubt a flag bearer for the Trailer Trash establishment in your community! You undoubtedly own a double stacked, double wide trailer for which you are the envy of everyone in your own little “park” of the world! 16-20 It is utterly hopeless so do not fight it! You are Trailer Trash and you proudly go where very few men, women, or aliens have ever gone before! You enjoy the finer yet simple pleasures of life without the distractions of low-carb diets, e-mail viruses, cell phone babble and the unnecessary trips to the grocery mart! You have arrived and understand the true peace of mind that your “trashy” lifestyle can bring! Your many cousins, sisters, brothers, sister in-laws, brother in-laws, grandma’s, grandpa’s, fathers and mothers are proud to call you their own. Only in America!